Showing posts with label Ridiculous. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ridiculous. Show all posts


A's Fan Falls During Amateur Hour at The Coliseum

When a foul ball is headed your direction, most fan's instincts are to simply reach for it - maybe even jump a little. This guy, however, completely sacrificed his face to the concrete gods. For a foul ball. That he didn't even catch. Plus his Oakland Athletics ended up losing 6-4 to the Cleveland Indians.

It's alright to laugh because apparently the fan is okay and... it's hilarious. Welcome to internet fame, guy who bit it at The Coliseum on Wednesday.


Don't Quit Your Day Jobs Ball State Players, Which is Playing Baseball, Not Singing

The absolute cheesiness of this holiday performance by the adorable Ball State Cardinals baseball team (god we hope it's intentional) was too hilarious not to share. Enjoy... or not.

Happy Holidays everyone! We'll be back for you after Christmas.

[Big League Stew]

Octavio Dotel Refuses to Retire, Signs with Detroit Tigers

Reigning World Series champion Octavio Dotel has signed with the Detroit Tigers in an effort to put one more big league club on his career resume.

On the final day of the on Thursday, the right-handed reliever and his agent convinced the Tigers he would be of use to them before he retires. Whenever that will be.

The 38-year-old Dominican, whose $3.5 million option for 2012 was declined by the St. Louis Cardinals, will give the bullpen some depth for at least the one year he was signed for to the tune of $3.5 million. Of course, he must pass a physical first.

I'm sure he has nothing to worry about.

Dotel has enjoyed 13 seasons in the majors with 12 different teams; in 2010 he was shuffled between three teams, which is unheard of. When he takes the mound in a Tigers uniform, he will become the first player in the history of the game to play for 13 clubs. That's quite an accomplishment.

[Detroit Free Press]

Lenny Dykstra Bitches Out, Pulls a No-Show in Jose Canseco Boxing Match

As I'm sure you are aware, 's brain has almost completely melted due to repeated steroid use and advanced egomania. However, he has just enough brain cells left to hit other fighters, random celebrities, and former ballplayers in the face during what could be referred to as "MMA" bouts.

A match between the former Bash Brother and everyone's favorite hot mess Lenny Dysktra was scheduled for November 5 and was actually going to air on Pay-Per-View. Anyway, that didn't happen because Nails didn't bother showing up. I hope all ten people planning on watching got their $19.95 back.

The former Phillies/Mets outfielder, who is a total disaster and is currently enjoying a stay in a rehab facility in Los Angeles, claims he was never actually scheduled to fight Canseco. This, despite being paid $5,000 ahead of time on Thursday, with another $10,000 coming after the match. Former manager Dan Herman, who quit on Friday after confirming that Dykstra was paid a portion of his purse in advance, had this to say in the aftermath:

"I grew up idolizing Lenny Dykstra but it was all a lie."

CC Sabathia Gets Ridiculous $30 Million, One-Year Contract Extension from Yankees

Rather than test the free agent waters, CC Sabathia has decided to stick around the Big Apple.

And why wouldn't he, if the richest club in the big leagues is going to give him an extra $30 million to do so?

The husky 31-year-old lefty was awarded an extra year to his existing contract with the New York Yankees, totaling $122 million over the next five seasons. He had until midnight to opt out of his current agreement, which had a meager $92 million remaining over the next four years. That's $23 million annually, including a hotel suite on trips, a no-trade provision and the right to buy tickets... and likely all the buffet action his unhealthy little heart desires.

Since agreeing to a $161 million, seven-year deal with New York prior to the 2009 season, the ace has gone 59-23 with a 3.18 ERA during the regular season. He has this to say about his hefty extension:

"My son loves it here. All my kids love it here. My wife loves it here, obviously, and I do, too. I love pitching for the Yankee fans and everything, so it was the easy choice. It was just more time. That’s all it was. It was never a question about money or anything like that, I just want to end my career here. I want to make sure I end my career as a Yankee and, hopefully, I’ve done that."

[New York Daily News]


Rafael Soriano Gets Ridiculous Contract from Yankees

Whoa everybody, don't look now but the New York Yankees are throwing their money around like a bunch of crazy people. No offense to Rafael Soriano, but he is not worth roughly $12 million a year.

But apparently the Yankees believe he is. The two sides have come to terms on a three-year contract reportedly worth $35 million dollars. Upon agreeing to the deal, Soriano promptly passed out.


Ichiro Who? What a Catch

In case you haven't seen this video, prepare to have your mind blown.

[Thanks, With Leather!]


Jose Canseco to Fight Senior Citizen

Jose Canseco has gone from former bash brother to wanna-be prize fighter. In the three bouts he's been in, he's gone 0-2-1: there was the priceless knockout by Vai Sikahema, the ass-kicking via Hong Man Choi, and the inevitable draw with Danny Bonaduce.

His next fight should be a doozy. This time, he's going up against former University of Arkansas Little Rock head baseball coach, Gary Hogan, who is in damn good shape for a 60-year-old man.

ALCS: That Game Was Ridiculous

Holy smokes, now that was a poorly-managed ball game.

The Los Angeles Angels kept their World Series dreams alive for one more night, coming away with a 7-6 win over the New York Yankees in Game 5 of the ALCS Thursday night in what turned out to be a helluva baseball game.


What is That Thing on Your Face?

Is that an albino squirrel, or are you just happy to see me?

Dear Bobby Jenks,

Umm... what's up with that critter hanging out on your chin? Do you feed it, or does it just keep coming back on it's own? It must really like you.

P.S. Intentionally throwing behind Ian Kinsler of all players? Really? Enjoy that fine.




Jose Canseco Demands Your Attention

have a tissue
...along with an apology from baseball.

First of all, baseball is a game, not a person. It can't apologize for anything, especially for scorning a former player who had a shot at being a Hall of Famer before greed made his giant head even more hideously inflated.

Continue reading this story at Fantasy Pros 911.


Mommy, I Need a Band-Aid

Most of us work pretty hard to earn a living. A lot of us use our hands every day, punch in and out and break a sweat. And sometimes we get blisters. Do we call in sick? Do we use 15 days of vacation? No.

The Chicago Cubs moved closer Kerry Wood to the disabled list Thursday, retroactive to July 14th, FOR THE 12TH TIME IN HIS 10-YEAR CAREER with a blister on his pitching hand. I realize it must be pretty tough to throw a baseball with a blister on your right index finger, but does it constitute a trip to the DL? Probably not for most people. Am I calling him a Sissypants McWhinerface? Ah, yes.


Paul Molitor: Total Cockblocker

Very few people in this world don't like Paul Molitor. Why? Because he's a Hall of Fame charmer, and there is no rational reason to hate the guy. Take me for example, I love him. But I have a story about a man whose day was once ruined by Molly.

My buddy, who is an avid Cubs fan -- we'll call him John, since that's his name -- was at a Tom Petty concert recently, and he had a backstage pass. Naturally, he was pumped out of his mind. After waiting in line for hours for the opportunity to meet the rock and roll legend, he began to grow impatient.

He asked a security guard what was taking so long, since the show was scheduled to start just minutes from then and the Heartbreakers were already warming up.

John: "Dude, what's taking so long?"

Security Man: "Mr. Petty is visiting with Mr. Molitor right now."

John: "PAUL Molitor?!"

Security Man: "Yes."

John: "What the hell. Can't Paul [effing] Molitor hang out with Tom Petty on his own [eefing] time? [Eff!]

Security Man: "Settle down, butthole."

He actually called him a 'butthole'. One point awarded to Security Man for using a word that almost died with Beavis and Butthead. Almost.

Eventually, Tom Petty came out on stage and my buddy went without meeting one of his favorite musical artists because Paul Molitor totally cock-blocked him.

John: "This is total bullshit. You know what, [eff] Paul Molitor. That asshole is dead to me."

The end.


Mike Hampton Broke a Mirror

Okay, maybe we're optimists, but we seriously thought Mike Hampton would at least make it to the mound today.

Maybe the Atlanta Braves lefty walked under a ladder, stepped on a crack, and crossed paths with a black cat right after breaking a mirror. Seriously, this guy's injury rate is ridiculous.

And today was supposed to be the day. The day Mike Hampton threw a baseball for real. His two-year absence has been extended however, after he hurt his left pec muscle... during his warm-up.

Hampton, 35, is a giant sissy headed back to the 15-day disabled list, retroactive to March 30th. Fellow lefty Jo-Jo Reyes is expected to be called up from the AAA Richmond Braves to take his spot on the roster.

[Atlanta Journal]

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