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Showing posts with label Losers of the week. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Losers of the week. Show all posts

4.18.2008

Losers of the Week


As we all know, the baseball season gives us many reasons to cheer. But just as plentiful are the moments we jeer and the people who make those moments possible.

It will be those zeroes that we'll highlight every Friday in Losers of the Week.


Today's post sponsored by Stolichnaya Vodka. "Stolichnaya: Relieving pain since 1901."



I want to start with an actual conversation heard outside Yankee Stadium on Wednesday night.

Douchbag Red Sox fan to Bronx cop: Hey, aren't there any cops who are Red Sox fans around here?

Bronx cop to douchbag Red Sox fan: Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?


ESPN lands on our list this week for being lame. Blindsiding Miguel Tejada with a copy of his birth certificate is, as Charles Barkley put it, bush league. It's also a cop out for the news they can't break.

"We can't prove he's taking PED's so let prove he's really 33 instead."

Next on our list is baseball announcer Marty Brennaman. Not for his Bob Uecker hair and retirement village tan, but for being a grumpy Cubs fan hater. "They're throwing balls on the field at a baseball game! Degenerates!". If I was a Cubs fan, I'd need to find other ways to entertain myself at a game too.

And speaking of Cubs fans, the creators of these incredibly offensive (yet kinda funny) Cubs shirts round out our list today. Not for making the shirts, because they are quite marketable, but for not selling them on the internet so people can buy them without hiking it out to Wrigley. And that goes double for the Yankee Pope hats.

And now, your baseball zen moment of the week:




4.11.2008

Losers of the Week



As we all know, the baseball season gives us many reasons to cheer. But just as plentiful are the moments we jeer and the people who make those moments possible.

It will be those zeroes that we'll highlight every Friday in Losers of the Week.


Today's post is sponsored by Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart. We trash burritos, not babies."


Braves’ Class AA center fielder Jordan Schafer, MLB, and anyone having anything to do with this whole HGH debacle. Here's an idea: why don't we determine exactly what unfair advantages, if any, HGH provides before we start castrating anyone who touches it? Oh, and how many calls to the anonymous steroids tipline do you think Canseco makes in a day? More on that later.

Also making this week's list is the Washington Nationals security staff and the US Secret Service. Why? For allowing these chuckleheads to run free in Nats Park without a word, question, or concern. Apparently the president's personal security is not so important anymore. And even worse, they jeopardized the safety of Maury Povich, Connie Chung, and Phil Donahue. Horrific.

And finally we have the Catholic Church, who are clearly not a fan of one of baseball's favorite giveaway: bobbleheads. To promote the arrival of the Pope, who will be holding a mass at Nationals Park, the Metro gave out Pope bobbleheads to encourage people to take public transportation. The church, of course, freaked out. The official reason?

"Our concern is that this was a bad bobblehead," said Susan Gibbs, a spokeswoman for the Archdiocese of Washington. "You had unauthorized merchandise, and you had a misdressed pope."

Well, what if he's a Nationals fan, huh Susan? Of course he'd wear red to the stadium. A "bad bobblehead" indeed.

And with that, I give you the offensive Pope commercial:



4.04.2008

Losers of the Week



As we all know, the baseball season gives us many reasons to cheer. But just as plentiful are the moments we jeer and the people who make those moments possible.

It will be those zeroes that we'll highlight every Friday in Losers of the Week.


This week's post is sponsored by Guitar Hero.
"Guitar Hero. Putting pitchers on the DL one chord at a time."


Chicago Cubs Minor League pitcher Robert Hernandez was suspended for 50 games for testing positive for steroids. I mean seriously, have we learned nothing? Besides, if you're a 19 year-old in the minor leagues and you need steroids to get ahead, you've got no shot in the majors.

Yankees fans John Bunjaporte and Keith O'Rourke were kicked out of Yankee Stadium on Opening Day for trying to steal a piece of the decorative bunting that hung throughout the stadium. Not only were they kicked out, but they lost their season tickets and face criminal mischief charges. Shame on them. No, not the enthusiastic fans. Yankee Stadium officials. So they tried to steal some ugly banner and for that they miss the rest of the stadium's final season? What kind of a world do we live in where players are the only ones who can steal signs?

And finally, Brian McNamee is selling signed Roger Clemens memorabilia on Ebay. So far it consists of photos, baseballs and items of the like so it's pretty boring. But the minute those vials and tissues hits the auction site, I'm all over it.

And because it has become a Sarah tradition, I leave you with a song. A song about losers featuring a kid on the guitar with a t-shirt that says baseball. And thus, all the pieces come together.