Season Previews: Miami Marlins

With Spring Training well underway, it's time for one of our favorite things in all the world: . Five years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Moving right along with our preview of the National League East, get a load of the 2012 Miami Marlins.

Holy crap Marlins
Could you have spent more money
In the offseason?

Spankin new ballpark
Ozzie Guillen will manage
The crap out of them

Carlos Zambrano
Watch out South Beach he's crazy
Welcome Mark Buehrle

Jose Reyes will
Look great in orange and teal
Hideous unis

Heath Bell is the man
Nolasco and Josh Johnson
Don't forget Sanchez

Christopher Coghlan
Will back up Emilio

Buck behind the plate
Gaby Sanchez at first base
Across from Hanley

Reyes stole his spot
Up the middle with Omar
Goodbye hot corner

Left and right fielders
Are Morrison and Stanton
Maybe Scott Cousins

The Marlins are set
To take down the Phillies and
Reclaim the East Coast.

[] | [Marlins Diehards] | [Marlin Maniac] | [Fish Bytes]


Anonymous said...

That gif is hilarious.

westsideculture said...

Welcome to Miami. Bienvenidos a Miami.

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