Season Previews: Pittsburgh Pirates

It's about time to kick off one of our favorite things in all the world: . Five years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Moving right along with our preview of the National League Central, here is the tentative Pittsburgh Pirates forecast.

The average fan
Has never heard of these guys
So try to keep up

Andrew McCutchen
and Nate McLouth in center
Michael McKenry!

James McDonald and
Daniel McCutchen's relief
Sounds McGood to me

Neil Walker and
Clint Barmes up the middle
Garret Jones at first

Pedro Alvarez
Hit .191 last year
Wow what an athlete

Kevin Correia
Jeff Karstens, Erik Bedard
and Charlie Morton

Perhaps Brad Lincoln
Would like a shot at having
a huge ERA

Tabata in right
Alex Presley in left field
Pirates in last place

All joking aside
Not sure how Bucs fans survive
Hang in there people

[] | [] | [Raise the Jolly Roger]


Anonymous said...

What the McFuck is going on with all the Mcnames? Is it a prereq now? No wonder they suck.

Anonymous said...

Haha...hilarious comment!! I'm still laughing. Although I wish I could get back the 30 seconds I spent reading whatever the hell this is.

Megs said...

While that comment was pretty funny, this has been my favorite haiku of the year so far. Poor Pirates fans.

shannon said...

There's been the Curse of the Bambino, the Curse of the Billy Goat, and now the Curse of Barry Bonds. Is it any coincidence that the Pirates have not had a winning season since he was on the team? He must have made a sweet, sweet sacrifice to Jobu to become the Home Run King* AND keep the Bucs as perennial cellar-dwellers for at least the last 20 years.

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