Joe Mauer is Going to Get Married... not to Us

Congratulations to Joe Mauer and his fiance Maddie Bisanz.

While some female (and male) Minnesota Twins fans may be incredibly devastated by the recent news of Minnesota's #1 bachelor being taken off the market, we are hoping Mauer's weekend engagement will fuel a comeback to the Man Muscles we know and love.

The Man Muscles who owns three batting titles and swings a bat like he means it. The Man Muscles who isn't a total pansyass and will help the Twins crawl out of the basement.

...Maddie Mauer? Adorable.

We've heard that soon-to-be or recently wed players are at their best. We're not sure whether we buy that or not, but it sure would be sweet for fantasy baseball owners of Mauer next season. By the way, here was our initial reaction to the news via Twitter.

[Busted Coverage]


Anonymous said...

I don't think Mauer getting hitched will have a positive effect on his baseball-ability. In fact, if he gets married during the season he's gonna be all stressed out probably. Weddings are the worst.

Anonymous said...

As wonderful as it would be to have sex with Man Muscles, I have to say that I would never want to actually marry a ballplayer. They're gone over half the year! What kind of marriage would that be?

shannon said...

Most ballplayers don't get married during the season; they wait until the off-season. The only reason any of them would marry during the season is if a shotgun is involved.

Sooze said...

...or if they're on the DL, which is totally probable here. :)

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