Ageless Albert Pujols Commands Serious Dollar Signs to Leave St. Louis Cardinals

Albert Pujols and his douchey agent (we pretty much take everything bad we've ever said about Scott Boras back) have some mighty lucrative offers to consider this week: one from the big-spending Marlins, another meaning he won't need to pack a thing, and a third 10-year offer from a team which has refused to go public. Hopefully it's the Cubs.

Update: Never mind, it's just the Los Angeles Angels.

Miami reportedly met with the nine-time All-Star and agent Dan Lozano to offer a 10-year deal Monday night, upping their previous offer which was apparently less than the nine-year, $198 million the St. Louis Cardinals tossed up last spring. If he actually is the age he says he is, that would make him a 41-year-old first baseman in the National League at the end of his contract. Unless he really is a robot... either way we'll be forced to use the Old People tag on him. Of course, he'll have a shot at being a designated hitter when baseball does their whole expansion dance during Interleague contests, which will eventually occur throughout the entire season.

One thing is certain: Pujols needs to make a decision soon and quit being such a winter meetings attention whore.

The three-time NL MVP and two-time World Series champion, who has spent all 11 of his big league seasons with the Cardinals, is among the club's all-time leaders in all kinds of categories: his 445 career homers are just 30 shy of Stan Musial's club record while he also ranks second to Musial in RBI, walks, extra-base hits, doubles, and total bags. While 2011 may have not lived up to his standards, he still batted .299 with 99 RBI and 37 homers, marking the first time he has ever missed the .300/100 mark. Complete failure.

The Marlins are seriously making it rain this winter, having already snagged closer Heath Bell and shortstop Jose Reyes. Clearly, owner Jeff Loria means business.



Megs said...

Five years is too much for a 31 year old. I don't care if he's baby jesus or not.