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4.08.2011

Manny Ramirez: Happy Trails, Dumbass



We've known for years that Tampa Bay's designated hitter Manny Ramirez was his own special brand of stupid. Former teammates have likened him to cancer. He's made some ridiculously stupid comments. Love him or hate him, it's still big news that our favorite butterfly chasing dumbass retired today after 19 seasons.

Manny missed Thursday's game with what was called a "family issue". He was expected to return to the lineup on Friday, but the issue turned out to be what the commissioner's office called "an issue under Major League Baseball’s Joint Drug Prevention and Treatment Program". Oops.

Manny apparently failed a drug test by testing positive for a banned substance during spring training. He didn't bother to appeal the positive test. Rather than face a suspension of 100 games, Ramirez decided instead to hang it up for good. Should he decide in the future to rejoin the Rays (or whatever team would actually put up with him), he would still be required to face disciplinary action for the failed test. I'm willing to bet that Roy Oswalt's neck is wishing Manny had made this decision a few weeks ago.

MLB isn't being very forthcoming about what exactly Manny tested positive for. In this day and age, it either took a lot of balls or a lot of knocks to the head for him to be stupid enough to try to get away with using any type of banned substance. The last time he got caught, he was suspended for 50 games in 2009 while with the Dodgers for taking some sort of female infertility drug/hormone replacement.

Despite the idiocy and the PED's, Manny led an unbelievable career in the Majors. He made his debut with Cleveland in 1993 and played with them for 8 seasons. He then went on to Boston for another 7 1/2 seasons. He won two World Series titles with the Red Sox in 2004 and 2007. He hit 555 homeruns, collected over 2,500 hits, and had a career batting average of .312. Now, how much of that was fueled by God given talent, and how much was fueled by "banned substances", we will probably never know. But one thing is certain: We will really miss making fun of watching what he'd do next. Happy trails, dumbass.

[The Onion] | [The Dugout] | [MLB]

3 comments:

Meredith said...

Ok...I discovered this site a few days ago, but with that headline and the laugh-out-loud moment I had upon reading it, I thought it was time to log in. :)

Glad you guys feel the same way about this guy. He's a talented player (maybe somewhat artificially, but still)...what a waste. Good riddance, Man Ram!