Barry Bonds Found Guilty*

Barry, Barry, Barry.

We've refrained from writing about the Barry Bonds trial until today, mostly because we are so unbelievably sick of the Homerun King* and all of his steroid related crap. But now, he should invest in some soap on a rope faces some actual jail time for all of this annoying mess he's gotten himself into.

Knock us over with a feather.

Surprisingly, none of the counts under the indictment were for being a cheater cheater pumpkin eater. When he was originally indicted in December 2006, there were four charges of giving false testimony and one count of obstruction of justice. A second indictment added a whopping 10 more charges. However, in February of this year, the charges were scaled back to just a total of four - three for being a liar, and one for obstruction and trying to mislead the grand jury.

A jury of 8 women and 4 men found Bonds guilty today of one count of obstruction of justice. This conviction could come with 10 years in prison and/or a $250,000 fine. Chances are, he'll probably get house arrest or spend very little time in the pokey if he does have to go.

The jury could not, however, come to a decision on the other three counts of making false declarations (aka lying his ass off under oath) during his 2003 testimony in front of the grand jury. After 11 days of testimony, it took 3 and a half days before they came to their split decision.

The three counts that the jury was unable to come to a unanimous decision regarding were:
1: Whether or not Bonds lied about using something that he knew to be a steroid
2: If he lied about ever receiving anything that he understood to be human growth hormone (HGH)
And 3: If he lied about ever receiving injections from anyone other than his doctor.

He came VERY close on a vote of 11-1 to being convicted of that third count as well, as a witness claimed that she saw Barry get an injection in the stomach from former trainer Greg Anderson. The one count of obstruction that he was convicted on was based on his grand jury testimony being found to be "intentionally evasive, false, or misleading." The statement that Bonds gave to the grand jury that the jury found to be misleading/evasive was:

"That's what keeps our friendship [referring to Anderson]. You know, I am sorry, but that -- you know, that -- I was a celebrity child, not just in baseball by my own instincts. I became a celebrity child with a famous father. I just don't get into other people's business because of my father's situation, you see ..."

Um, ok. When in doubt, blame having a famous ballplayer for a dad, and your childhood for mistakes you make as an adult. Makes total sense. I would have found him guilty as well for making zero sense on the stand and making me try to decipher what the hell he was talking about.

In any case, the homerun king* has pretty much lost the respect of most baseball fans, writers, hall of famers, and anyone else who is not Barry Bonds. He has a few fans left, and in some ways, rightfully so. It's hard to deny that he was a phenomenal player - hitting 762 career homeruns, being a 7 time MVP, 8 time Gold Glove winner, and 14 time All-Star. Who can forget how he hit 71 bombs in 2001? It's sad to know that for the majority of those accomplishments, he was juicing up like crazy, and that all of those feats will forever be branded with an asterisk*. It almost makes you feel bad for him. Almost.


Max said...

Until I saw this photo, I didn't realize that the use of steroids causes excessive chest hair.