Get Off the Damn Ballfield, Hoodlums

What the hell is up with Philadelphia Phillies fans lately?

Monday, a fan ran onto the field at Citizen's Bank Park and was immediately tased by security. Obviously, this prompted another man to rush the field the very next night. Was he hoping to be tased? I hear the majority of folks who do get the taser end up wetting themselves. That is not attractive. Maybe he wanted to become famous via Youtube... or just be retweeted.

Yes. The dude in question, THETHOROBRED, tweeted about his stunt beforehand, like the genius he is.

Sadly -- not only did he misspell the word 'field' -- he totally messed up Cole Hamels' groove, as the lefty gave up two straight doubles after the yahoo was escorted off the premises amid loud boos before the Phillies' 2-1 victory over the St. Louis Cardinals.

Let this be a lesson to all who have a wild hair up their behind. Do not jump the railing and run out onto that perfectly-cut grass. If you don't get tased and pee your pants, a morbidly obese security guard, much like the one pictured above, will likely land on top of you and risk crushing every bone in your stupid body.

Then, we will make fun of you.

Following the spirit of fellow baseball babes, Chicks Dig the Longball, here are the and accounts of 32-year-old Thomas Betz, this evening's culprit. Of course, we don't condone online harassment... we just thought you might like to compliment him on his awesome plaid shorts.

Caption contest anyone? We'll start you out.

Jayson Werth: "You call that a beard pussyface?"

[] | [] | [Chicks Dig the Longball]


Jay Ballz said...

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