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3.04.2010

Season Previews: Cleveland Indians


With Spring Training games starting this week, it's time for one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews. Three years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Continuing on with our preview of the American League Central, here's Melissa with the Cleveland Indians.

I think that I shall never see
a tea mug lovely as Grady's...



Oh, wait - we're supposed to do haiku. Never mind.

Tribe fans all want to
wipe '09 from history books,
forget it ever happened.

But fear not, Cleveland!
PECOTA predicts that your
'10 will look better.

Grady, Shin-Soo and
Assdribble all coming back;
will smack the baseball.

New toy LaPorta
is the Indians' future;
should start in left field.

Branyan's back at 1B-
at least that's what Shapiro
says the plan is now.

Starting rotation
is lining up: Jake, Justin
and (of course) Fausto.

Hoping that Huff and
Laffey can anchor the staff,
eat lots of innings.

Can Pronk return to
days of glory? Grady and
Kerry stay healthy?

Success of Cleveland
might very well depend on
the medical staff.

At the very least,
the Tribe won't suck as bad as
Royals and Tigers.

[The DiaTribe] | [CastroTurf] | []

8 comments:

Matt said...

That is probably the first time in history that someone made a PECOTA reference in a haiku. Great work as usual.