tah-dah!Hallelujah and Amen ladies and gentlemen, the New York Mets will finally stop hemorrhaging like a severed artery. As you may have heard, the Metsies made a trade of epic proportions this afternoon, sending their very own Ryan Church, who had the innate ability to make the Mets outfield as porous as a mesh condom for...dun dun duh....JEFF FRANCOEUR.

Francoeur, since his Major League Debut in 2005, has 65 outfield assists, the most in baseball during that period. Please, please, try and contain your excitement.

Sorry Mets. Unless you're willing to fire the entire front office and DFA the entire roster, there's no way to right this ship which is sinking faster than Leo and Kate and those two sad children in the North Atlantic. Omar Minaya shouldn't be running a Banana Stand never mind a baseball team, and ohhhhh Jerry Manuel, you don't fool us with your smart man glasses.

Blow it up. Start over. This is the most hopeless group of humans to exist since the 2003 Cubs.

It's nice to be back.




Sooze said...

Man. I missed that shit. <3

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