Season Previews: Cincinnati Reds

Now that it's Spring, it's time for one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews. Two years ago, they began as a serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Moving right along with our preview of the National League Central, we give you: the Cincinnati Reds.

Jay Bruce is the man
Bronson wails on his guitar
Please put your leg down

Cordero: bad ass
Using one name for one line?

Micah Owings: yum
Brandon Phillips is so fast
Junior up and left

Jonny Gomes: no H
Joe Morgan is a homer
Poor Jacque Jones can't play

Dusty Baker: meh
Taveras likes to steal bags
But not hit homers

Harang's fastball is
Nothing to write home about
But has nice sliders

74 wins
(that makes 88 losses)
Isn't all that great

Time to step it up
Try to shoot for 80 wins
Maybe even fourth!

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Anonymous said...

Whoa! That lady looks nuts. And yes, Bronson Arroyo should absolutely put his leg down. He looks like a dog about to urinate.

Jake said...

I bet you'd look hot in those earrings Sooze.

Sooze said...

They look kind of uncomfortable.

Jake said...

Bronson Aroyo is a tool. Have you seen all the used car dealership ads he's been in? yes. Put your leg down.

Stephen said...

That lady looks irritated. Probably by the Reds' quality of play.

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