Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Now that Spring Training has started, we're continuing on with Season Previews. Last year, they began as a serious analysis and ended as half-assed haiku, which we're just gonna keep rolling with.

First, it was Ryan
Then last year Jimmy won it
Could it be Chase now?

Center feels empty
Sadly, Bacon Pants is gone
Hawaiian takes charge

And as for left field
The Bat's in a contract year
He'll hit lots of bombs

Still need pitching help
Lidge is hurt; Flash kinda stinks
Moyer's a grandpa

Thank heavens for Cole
Too bad Kendrick got traded
Hope he likes Japan

Can the Phils repeat?
Beltran mouthed off, he said no
Braves are the real threat

[The 700 Level] | [Beerleaguer] | [We Should Be GMs] | [Plunk Chutley]


KATIE said...


Sooze said...

Wow, they clean up nice huh. Well done as always, Mel... sorry I drafted Bacon Pants before you had the chance.

Megs said...


aras said...

Bacon Pants just kills me.

Melissa said...

I hope he kills you in a good way.

And Sooze - turnabout is fair play, so I took Boof. Actually, you came out way ahead there.

CLARE. said...

Yo, don't hate on the Boof: He's lookin' goooooood since he cut out the deep-fried Twinkies and Sonic Java Chip Chillers.