and his stupid effing flavor-saver are running from the law. Ergo, he's been released by the St. Louis Cardinals.
Police issued a six-count warrant for the 35-year-old utility infielder's arrest following a December car crash which alleges driving under influence, driving under the influence with a blood alcohol content of .08% or more, hit and run, aggravated assault, aaaaaaaand assault and battery.
What a guy.
The maximum penalty is two years in state prison, where he may or may not become someone's bitch for dying his facial hair red. On purpose.
[MLB.com] | [Deadspin] | [Cardinals GM] | [The Griddle]