This weekend's guest author is a fellow tortured soul -- a Chicago Cubs fan -- our buddy Mad Love from the snappy sports site, . He's another man who needs no introduction, so here we go. Buckle up for this hilarious tale of anguish and disappointment.
From The Love of Sports
So, as baseball fans, I’m just gonna naturally assume you all are looking for shock value, isn’t that right?
That seems to be the case. You’ve all proven it for years.
You wanna know what players are sleeping with Madonna or Alyssa Milano this week.
You need to know who’s gambling on their games.
And you just HAVE to know who’s on the juice!
Well you know what? I say screw it all! I could give a damn about any of it.
All I want from my national pastime is for my Cubs to finally win a freakin’ World Series for once!
Just once! Is that too much to ask? Haven’t I suffered enough for it?
That being said, I honestly don’t care if all 25 players on this year’s roster are on the phone with their bookies while Madonna was rubbing them down with the clear and the cream in the clubhouse before each game. To them, I say “Do what you gotta do, fellas. Just bring us home that ring!”
But I digress.
OK, so I’m obviously not that vain. Sure, I may be a little more lenient with baseball morals than the average fan, but that’s not the point of this story.
This year marks the 100th anniversary of the Chicago Cubs last winning the World Series, and I have to think that story is the biggest one of this, or any other, baseball season.
Imagine, if you will, something you spend your entire lifetime hoping and praying for never happening. You can’t imagine that, because unless you’re also a Cubs fan, not a single one of you has ever, or will ever, experience such heartache.
I mean, I’m in my 30’s and I’m struggling with it badly as it is. But my poor 87-year-old grandmother, who spent every one of her years in Illinois and was an incredible Cubs fan, just passed away a few months ago without ever tasting the thrill of victory.
How wrong is that?!
OK, I apologize to any of you young astronomy students out there who were born after the 1986 Halley’s Comet sighting and who may also miss it once it shows up again in 2061. I grant you the fact that you may possibly experience three-fourths the pain my people have endured these last 100 years. But that’s as close as any of you may come to understanding our plight.
With the team our Cubbies have put together this season, I have as much hope as I’ve had since the tragic 1984 team who dropped three straight to the Padres in the NLCS after going up 2-0 in the five-game series. Or when we had a 5-1 lead in the top of the eighth inning of a potentially clinching Game 6 in 2003. Then Steve Bartman and Alex Gonzalez both happened.
Those were obviously crushing blows. However, if we can’t get through this season without a title, it may be even more damaging.
Winning the ring on the 100th anniversary would be as sweet as it gets. Doing it in year 101, or any year after that?
Talk about non-historic.
So, thanks to Kosuke Fukudome and Alfonso Soriano and Aramis Ramirez and Derrek Lee and Ted Lilly and any number of other guys we paid top dollar for the last few years, we have a legitimate shot at this thing.
You can’t tell me you’re not rooting for it just a little bit, too.
A Cubs championship would re-invigorate baseball. It would make us all forget about the steroids crap. It would turn the casual outside fan into a rabid diehard fan. And, most importantly, it would highlight all that’s right with the game instead of all that’s wrong with it.
And if you’re a true baseball fan like me, isn’t that all you really want?
Other than a Alyssa Milano rubdown, of course.
Come on, Alyssa, do it for the game. Do it for grandma.