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5.09.2007

She Said :: She Said

David Wright is one sexy bitch.
Dear David,

Don't cry, big fella. It happens to a lot of men at your age. I'm not upset with you! Really, it's nothing to be ashamed of and it's not your fault. There are all kinds of medications... you can reverse the condition.

It's happens to 3 out of every 10 men in the United States, David. You're not alone.

So you're balding! So what?! You shave your head, that's what. And that's hot. You think people want to see an eventual horseshoe around that melon? Not this girl. Keep it short, pal. It makes you look tough.

You're in good company. When you think about letting it grow, just remember how bad ass Bruce Willis looks these days. Then picture him with hair. That's right. Horseshoe.

Love,
Sooze


Alright. We'll have to agree to disagree my dear.

Dear David:

Despite my allegiance to the Red Sox, given the opportunity to spend 24 hours in a room alone with you, and then forced to die, I'd absolutely take it. The things I'd do to you would put Jenna Jamison to shame. That was before you did this.

I realize you haven't been able find the broad side of a barn with the bat over the last few months and I know you're looking for any conceivable way to find a way to hit the ball. But shaving that gorgeous head of dark hair? Why would you ever, EVER do that? I have a serious, SERIOUS weakness for gorgeous, dark haired men with smiles that could melt the panties off Gloria Steinem.

Shaved heads work on some people. Guys who are seriously balding. Michael Jordan. Military men. But they don't work on 24-year-old, hot as Manhattan on the 4th of July, pure sex in a Mets uniform type guys. Now, I will be forced to stare at your ass when my office makes me endure Mets games.

Please. Grow it back. Or else I'll be forced to shift my affections to Mike Mussina.

Love,
Lizzy


11 Comments:

Megs said...

I'm not sure David Wright could ever look ugly to me.