A Roger Clemens interview
Sooze: Roger --
Roger Clemens: Please. Call me Rocket.
Sooze: Rocket. I gotta tell ya, I'm not a big fan. I think you're pretty much full of crap.
Rocket: I think I'm awesome, but let's just agree to disagree.
Lizzy: Let's start with the burning question that everyone wants an answer to. Where will you play this season?
Rocket: Ya know, everybody kind of perceives me as being angry. It's not anger, it's motivation.
Sooze: That's very insightful. Do you think you'll motivate your way to New York this season? Or will you keep that intensity in Houston?
Rocket: I am intense, no question about it. Every time I toe the rubber, it's no different for me than if it was in the World Series.
Lizzy: Your son, Koby, is in the Astros minor league system. When he makes it up to the majors, do you think you'll still be playing at this level?
Rocket: You know how hard I work during my off days? My only day off is the day I pitch.
Sooze: That's pretty hard.
Rocket: Yeah. Told you I was awesome.
Sooze: I thought we agreed you'd be honest with us... but you keep saying that you're "awesome".
Rocket: Can you pitch at the major league level, young lady? I don't see a World Series ring on that finger. (shoves nearby cameraman)
Lizzy: That was uncalled for, Roger. Besides, that's Randy Johnson's move. And Kenny Rogers'.
Rocket: He called me fat.
Disgruntled Cameraman: Yeah well, the truth hurts, Rain Man!
Rocket: That's Rocket Man, as the title of my autobiography clearly states. (hands a signed copy to Lizzy)
Lizzy: Sweet... So, are you ever going to retire, or what?
Rocket: Yeah, probably until June or so. Then we'll see what happens. For now, I'm thinking about starting up my own blog. I'm gonna call it "What's In Rocket's Pocket".
Rocket: Go ahead, ask me what's in my pocket.
Sooze: No, that's okay.
Rocket: Really. Ask me. C'mon.
Lizzy: (sighs) What's in your pocket?
Rocket: (pulls hand out of pocket to flip the bird)
Sooze: Very nice.
Rocket: (falls over in a fit of laughter)
Lizzy: Hmm. Speaking of things that are hilarious, I understand your wife, Debbie, has made quite the name for herself with her Bedazzling website. Lots of butterflies, creepy music and plastic rhinestones for denim hats and jean jackets.
Rocket: Yeah, those things are AMAZING! I wanted her to bedazzle my glove, but she said my teammates would just make fun of me.
Rocket: She bedazzles my name onto the front of my underwear, instead. Bling, Bling.
Sooze: Thanks, Rocket. That's probably more than enough info. See you in New York this summer.
Rocket: Yep, see you there. I mean... we'll see where I end up. If I decide to pitch. Blah blah family blah blah priorities blah blah bedazzling.
[Roger Clemens Bio] | [debbieclemens.com]