So While I Was In Florida...

Yes, I'm back. I realize you all missed me, but a vacation was exactly what I needed. I spent a great deal of time consuming tequila, laying in the sun, and dancing on bars. Anyway, here's a shot of me and my sister playing grabass to tide you over.

So, while chillin' by the pool at our lovely resort in Orlando, I saw some bright orange dreads. Low and behold, its Manny Ramirez, who after staring at my breasts for 10 minutes, decided that he'd like to give the Babes the exclusive on his "Manny being Manny-ness" of this week.

Lizzy: So Manny, this grill that you put on eBay.

Manny: When I bought it, I thought it'd fit over my front teeth. I tried man, but it was too heavy. So my agent suggested I put it on eBay. I really wanted to attach it to the front of my car.

Lizzy: So how's spring training going for you?

Manny: You know, I can't figure out who this Japanese guy is on the team. I asked him if he wanted to do some bong hits with me and Ortiz but he muttered something that sounded like gyroball and walked away. That pissed me off, because if he had some gyroball he should have shared because I had the goddamn munchies.

Lizzy: So you are happy to be in Boston?

Manny: I love to pee in the Monster.

Lizzy: You still want to be traded?

Manny: Pbbbbthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (raspberry noise)

Lizzy: What about your late arrival to spring training? And the car show you were scheduled to attend.

Manny: Fuckin' Theo man. What? Who wants to watch Super Troopers?

Lizzy: Thanks for sitting down with me. I appreciate it.

Manny: Yo, you wanna smoke?


Sooze said...


ian said...

Manny probably only spoke to you because of your breasts

Bassmaster said...

manny on lizzy.

I mean, manny being manny..

Yeah Him said...

If there would have been any mercy in the universe, the Sox would have went 40cents on the dollar to get rid of Manny and would have jettisoned Delcarmen and Hansen for Todd Helton, but alas, it's another season with that knucklehead at the reigns.