Keith "Burger King" Foulke, former Red Sox closer and notorious ornery asshole, announced his retirement today, despite recently signing a contract with the Cleveland Indians.
The 34-year-old jackass had signed a one-year deal worth $5 million (plus incentives) with the Indians for the 2007 season. Foulke had 34 saves during the Soxx championship season of 2004, but battled a variety of physical ailments including knees and elbows, face blemishes and ingrown toenails during '05 and '06.
Foulke lost the respect of most of Red Sox Nation back when he spoke of the boos that he was bombarded with in June of 2005, saying he didn't care what "Johnny from Burger King thought."
Enjoy retirement, you ungrateful prick.