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2.16.2007

20 Percent Chance of Media Whorage in 2007


Roger Clemens announced today that there is a "20 percent chance that he will play in 2007." However, there is a 100 percent chance that he is an asshole. Clemens, clearly on his period and irritated that his name hadn't been in any papers in three days, apparently was working out with his son Koby and informed him that there wasn't a huge chance Rocket would return to the majors in 2007.

TANGENT WARNING: Roger Clemens has spent the last few seasons playing for the Astros, a sub-par NAAAtional League team. There is no argument that the majority of the better hitters in baseball are in the American League. Anyone remember Fat Roger's last season with the Yankees? Not so stellar. This Fat Bastard's ego is way too enormous to play for an American League team, because he will clearly suck. This charade of "will he, won't he" will continue well into the season, as ESPN has the dire need to constantly verbally felliate Roger whenever he takes a fucking shit. END TANGENT.

Stay tuned for constant ESPN coverage of Roger cutting his toenails as his fat 45-year-old juiced posterior.

Source: MLB.com

14 comments:

Andrew "Queen of the Iron Age" said...

red rocket!!!

Dusty Gazongas said...

Hello? Wilco Roger? Is this on?

ian said...

i don't think lizzy likes roger either. you are the best....

Maryland Orioles' Fan said...

LOL! Joke of the year.

Yes, I have a 20% chance of playing.

Translation: Um, in June, I'll check the standings, get clearance from the wife, and see which team has the best chance of getting me another ring.

Plus the 3-4 million per month does not hurt...

Maryland Orioles' Fan said...

I don't like to whore myself out, but I have an ode to Clemens and why I so despise him...It's on my site

Link Here...

Twins Territory said...

20% is pretty low, but I think he will play in 2007 whether it is April or July and with who are the only questions.

Twins Territory said...

I should also add that I think he will sign with the Astros during the mid-season.

It could be the Yankees to, whoever has the better chance.

Sooze said...

So much sadness in those eyes.

Cheer up, Rog. There goes your name across the bottom line. You're still a star!

Rich said...

Yeah, he should also put with that 20 percent chance to play that following is an 80 percent chance of complete bullshit. In other words, business as usual for Roger.

lieutenant winslow said...

although lieutenant winslow finds lizzy to be kinda hot, he does not appreciate her bashing the rocket. unless of course, he signs with the Yankees.

Lizzy said...

Lieutenant, my hatred for all that is that fat asshole actually stems very little from his departure from Boston, but more from is constant need to jack off to himself being in newspaper.

Lizzy said...
This post has been removed by the author.
Maryland Orioles' Fan said...

Roger is probably loving that he's playing the media and all of us like a fiddle...

zelda belle said...

You had me at "Fat Roger"

My friends and I used to call him that, way back in the day. We did in fact hate him for leaving Boston, but he has tacked on so many more reasons since then.

Great blog. I found my way over here from Ladies...