Roger Clemens announced today that there is a "20 percent chance that he will play in 2007." However, there is a 100 percent chance that he is an asshole. Clemens, clearly on his period and irritated that his name hadn't been in any papers in three days, apparently was working out with his son Koby and informed him that there wasn't a huge chance Rocket would return to the majors in 2007.
TANGENT WARNING: Roger Clemens has spent the last few seasons playing for the Astros, a sub-par NAAAtional League team. There is no argument that the majority of the better hitters in baseball are in the American League. Anyone remember Fat Roger's last season with the Yankees? Not so stellar. This Fat Bastard's ego is way too enormous to play for an American League team, because he will clearly suck. This charade of "will he, won't he" will continue well into the season, as ESPN has the dire need to constantly verbally felliate Roger whenever he takes a fucking shit. END TANGENT.
Stay tuned for constant ESPN coverage of Roger cutting his toenails as his fat 45-year-old juiced posterior.